2013 ---> 2014

2013

The major events I guess you could call them would be of course 1) moving to ND. I have never lived outside of Utah let alone 10 minutes from where I grew up so moving to ND was kind of a huge deal for me. As much as I miss our family and that part is the hardest, it really has been such a great experience. I feel like I'm really "finding" myself. I'm enjoying learning about other people and their backgrounds and I've really enjoyed Ben and I being able to just focus on us and our lives together and being able to figure out what's next in our journey. 

2) both of my grandparents on my moms side passing away within a month of each other. I miss them terribly but unfortunately it is part of life. I just wish it wasn't so hard on the rest of us. 

Besides that I can't think of any huge events its been a really crazy year I feel like it really flew past and I know tomorrow is just another day on the calendar but I'm excited for a "fresh start" and for the greatness to come. 

2014

I found this awesome "list" thingy ma bob on Pinterest and I thought it was a great idea instead of writing out resolutions. This past year I may or may not have had a resolution to shave my legs once a week. Ya it gets bad when you have blonde hair because you can't see them as easily. Anywhoo... moving on. So here are some of the topics on the list and what I wrote:

A bad habit I'm going to break:

interrupting people

A new skill I'd like to learn:

cake decorating, teaching Zumba, get better at playing the guitar

A person I'd like to be more like:

Ben, My family, The Dali Lama

A good deed I'm going to do:

I couldn't think of anything to specific but I would like to volunteer and maybe make a quilt for a shelter. And also try and do some sort of good deed no matter how simple or small each day.

A place I'm going to visit:

Kenya,England,New Zealand (We will see what finances allow)

A book I'd like to read:

I have a whole Pinterest board on this as well as a "goodreads" list so I'm just going to try and read at least one book a month. 

A new food I'd like to try:

quinoa (I'm open to suggestions on this one I couldn't think of anything)

Weapons of Mass Reduction Week 8

Wednesday- Insanity Cardio Power and Resistance

Yes you read that right. I worked out one stinking day this week. Umm... one is better than 0 right? What a week! I really fell off the wagon. Between mindless snacking and cravings it was rough. I didn't log my food Saturday or Sunday (kind of disappointed about that). Honestly, if I don't lose weight in the next week and half I will be ok but I don't want to undo everything I've worked my butt off for. I'm really going to focus on drinking lots of water. Trying to eat something healthy and filling before choosing something unhealthy and I'm really going to try and get those workouts in. I think if I do those things I'll be happy with the outcome and then hit the new year strong again! The weather is really making it rough. I hate that it gets dark so soon it's depressing. And the overcast is killing me!!! I need sunshine. My sis in law sent me her happy lamp so I'm excited to try that out hopefully it will help. 

It is very painful to write this but as of this morning I am up .8 lbs since last week. GRR! Ok moving on! 

Seriously though. I have a cooking blog and then I blog about weight loss...wowsa!

Weapons of Mass Reduction Week 7

As of today there is officially about 2 weeks left of this Holiday Fitness Challenge! Eye yi yi! So this week... Uffda! (Something I learned here in ND) It's been rough week. Well I lost a little motivation and and didn't do so well on working out or eating for that matter. I tracked everything I ate which is good.. Insanity was hard for me to work in this week. Not that I didn't have the time it was just I didn't wake up early enough to work out before I went to work and by the time I got home we barely had time to eat dinner, relax, get ready for the next day and go to bed. I felt overwhelmed on those days by trying to work in Insanity. I really need to figure out a plan. I really miss doing my weight lifting class at Gold's so I'm going to try and work that into my weekly workout schedule.

  Saturday  Insanity Cardio Abs and T25 Lower Body Focus
Sunday Insanity Plyometric Cardio Circuit

As of today I am down 2.6 lbs from last week! YAY! However, its not just about losing the weight I want to get fit which is why I need to focus on my workout schedule too. I am really happy about my weight loss so far and I feel great.

These are my Christmas nails I got as a my non food reward for losing 10lbs! 

Happy Holidays and Christmas Party

On Saturday December 7th it was Happy Holidays at my work. They have done this for the past 24 years. All the employees donate their time and they give chiropractic services for free in exchange for non-perishable food items and toiletry items to donate to people in need in the community. On a normal day we see 4 patients every 15 minutes maybe... on Happy Holidays its between 8-12 patients every 15 minutes! It was crazy busy but so much fun! I loved the happy feeling and it was such a nice way to start out the Christmas spirit. The doctors bought us all Starbucks for the morning, and pizza for lunch. They had cookies and crackers and cheese sitting out for all the patients too! Just an amazing experience I absolutely loved it! 

Top picture: Me, Brittani, Dr. Laci, Arika, Callie, Carley
Left Picture: Brittani and I, Right Picture: Dr. Jodi and I

That evening was our work christmas party. We went to a local steakhouse and then bowling afterwords. It was so much fun! The bowling alley was the smallest alley I have ever seen! We had the whole thing to ourselves. They put us all on different teams and then after each game they would give money to us for random things like if you got a spare on #7 or something. It was so much fun!

Arika and her winnings for the night, Michelle and Carley, Me, Dr. Laci, and Dr. Greg's wife Deb.

Weapons of Mass Reduction Week 6

Monday- Insanity Fit Test

Tuesday- Insanity Plyometric Cardio Circuit

Wednesday- Shoveled 6inches of snow off the driveway (yes that counts) AND Insanity Cardio Power and Resistance

Thursday-Insanity cardio recovery 

Friday-Pure Cardio
Saturday- Plyometric Cardio Circuit

I think this week went went pretty well until Saturday. It was our happy holidays at work (which will be another post) and my work party. There was food everywhere all day! I tried to do correct proportions and drink lots of water. That night we went to a restaurant for the party that I had never been to before. I tried to look up the menu beforehand but it wasn't available. 

Sunday started out Ok but then my GERD started really acting up it hang been that bad for awhile so I'm not sure what set it off.

Anyway, as of this morning I am down .8 lbs. I'll take it (well I have too) but I need to step it up this week and really get back on track.

Weapons of Mass Reduction Week 5

Monday: 30 min on the treadmill of inclines and intervals

Tuesday: 1.5 mile run with Duke

Wednesday: Nada

Thursday: Turkey Trot 5K! I finished in 39:24 averaging about an 11:44min/mile (Really happy with this time!) It was about 20º that morning and I dressed really warm. It's better than freezing though! I took off my warm headband and gloves about halfway through the run. I had 2 pairs of socks on, running tights, sweats, sports bra, exercise tee, running long sleeve, and a fleece...

Friday:Nada

Saturday: I did the Nike+ Fitness Assessment on our Kinect and T25 AB Intervals

I felt like I had a sporatic week of eating. On Thanksgiving I just tried to watch my portions but not deprive myself of something because I knew I would just end up craving and binging. Friday I didn't really track my calories. 

Tried to get back on track with counting calories Saturday and Sunday hopefully be back in full swing this week. Now that the 5K is done and over with I need to have something else to "train" for. I like and need to have goals to get me motivated. I've been working in the Insanity workouts a few times a week and I think I'm going to start that program today. 

As of this morning I am down 1.4lbs. Still staying on track to get to that 20 lbs loss by the end of the year. When I started trying to lose weight in the summer I made a list of non-food rewards for each 10 lbs I lost. First on the list when I lose 10lbs I get to have my nails or toenails done! Since its winter time and its easier to paint my toenails than nails I am going to get my nails done! I love having something to look forward too and motivate myself.

Here is my rewards list:

10lbs Nails or toenails done

20lbs Fitbit

30lbs  Under armor or Viewsport clothing item

40lbs- new jeans

50lbs- new workout shoes

60lbs-new outfit/mani and pedi (haven't fully decided yet)

Any ideas or thoughts on some fitness goals I should work towards would be greatly appreciated! I love input and new ideas because my brain doesn't always work at 100%. I've been reading runsforcookies quite faithfully she has an inspiring story and she is always putting together some sort of training plan. She only runs though.. I would like to be well rounded for a better overall fitness for me. 

A North Dakota Thanksgiving

First off I am so angry I stink at taking pictures! I had the table set up all cute and a beautiful pie and food and I didn't get one stinking picture. I wish there was a way I could go back on my face time chats and get a pic from them but I can't as far as I know. 

Anyways, this was my first Thanksgiving away from my parents. Ben has had 2 while he was serving his mission in England. I was a little sad and bummed and so was Ben. Last week I was talking to my friend who works at the daycare and is also in our ward. She is married with one little one and one on the way. I asked her about her plans for Thanksgiving and she said they really didn't have any so I invited her and her family over. She agreed and we were both really excited! Wednesday night I made the pumpkin pie and a special cranberry with feta cheese tossed salad. On Thursday morning after the 5K I started putting everything else together and we started picking up around the house. I put the turkey in (it was boneless and just a small lil' 3lb thing) I also cut up regular potatoes and put them in the crock pot, and cut, cooked and mashed sweet potatoes. We went to Walmart to get some rockstars and other drinks for dinner (I have never seen Walmart so dead it was actually kind of nice.) We felt bad so we made sure we went through the self checkout as our way of trying to protest for making nice people work on Thanksgiving. Around 330pm I took the turkey out and covered it with tinfoil then I put the sweet potato casserole in the oven and called my mom to wish her Happy Thanksgiving! Her and my dad were up in Washington visiting my brother and his family so I was able to facetime with everyone! It was so fun to see them I'm so thankful for technology! Around 430pm our guests arrived. My friend Carolyn made home made stuffing (it was amazing) and an apple pie. Her husband is from Ethiopia so this whole Thanksgiving thing is still pretty new to him. We had 2 bottles of sparkling cider and we couldn't find our bottle opener. My friends husband did a special trick and opened them both up it was really cool! Ben turned on a movie for their son and we enjoyed our dinner. We just sat around and visited and watched some kid movies (Planes and Monsters University). It was very relaxing and chill and it was nice to have some company. We enjoyed pie both turned out delicious. After they left I went into the kitchen and noticed my crock pot was still on and then a lightbulb in my head went off... Whoops! I completely forget about the mashed potatoes! LOL all in all I think I did pretty good for the first Thanksgiving I was in charge of. 

I feel so blessed in my life. I have more than I will ever need and I have amazing people and relationships in my life. I am so grateful for all that I have.

Hope y'all had a fantastic Thanksgiving or maybe first day of Hanukkah!

Weapons of Mass Reduction Week 4

This week has really been a struggle for me. Just over a week ago on Sunday we went to an open house for a home for sale. The stairs were really narrow and I fell down the stairs and hit my head pretty good on a hard wall. My head was killing me and my neck hurt and I had a bad headache. I probably should have gone and got checked out but I'm kind of weird like that. Monday I still had a bad headache. I was trying to be "tough" and not think too much of it. On Tuesday I asked one of the Dr.'s at the Chiropractor office I work at to look at my neck. She said it was really swollen on my right side and I showed signs of scoliosis. Even after all that I did an Insanity workout on Tuesday. Wednesday I had a terrible headache and my neck was killing me. Thursday I went back to the Dr. they said I was still in bad shape and they didn't want me turning, lifting, etc and said they didn't want me to work my CNA job the next day and gave me a work notice. Went back on Friday Dr. said not to even do light cleaning around the house and to keep ice on my neck as much as possible so exercising was out of the question. So I only got in 1 exercise day this week. I'm feeling frustrated. When I don't exercise eating healthy doesn't sound as appealing. Also, I've been a little bored lately as well not being able to do much so then I start eating because I'm bored. I still logged everything in MFP. I go back to the Dr. today and I'm hoping to be cleared for exercise. I've been icing my neck and taking aleve faithfully. Our Turkey Trot is on Thursday and I want it to be fun! I'm a little worried about the cold but we will be fine! I really really did not want to weigh in this morning like not at all but I did! I knew if I didn't that that would start a habit of not caring as much again and if I didn't see how I had done during the week that I might just give up.

So I wrote all of that last night obviously not to hopeful about the number on the scale this morning...
I'm down 1.8 lbs. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR! Don't know if the scale is broke or what lol but I'm taking it. Honestly, the more I think about it the more it makes sense. Even though it wasn't my best week I'm still eating less calories than I was before, drinking lots of water, and just being aware of what I'm eating. Like when we go out to eat I think twice before ordering. I try and choose the healthier option even though it still might be higher in calories. I'm really happy. I had such a frustrating week without being able to exercise so for that to work out really motivates me. 

Weapons of Mass Reduction Week 3

Monday: T25 Full Body Circuit

Tuesday: 30 min run on the treadmill 2.17 miles
Wednesday: T25 Full Body Circuit
Thursday and Friday no workout :(
Saturday: Insanity Plyo Cardio

We had a weekend challenge in the group and it was to write a "breakup" letter to an unhealthy habit or food item. Here is my breakup letter. Its going to be really hard for me but I think it is in my healths best interest. Sometimes I would have 1-2 monsters/rockstars a day.

When I feel like I'm doing well or have found things that seem to have helped me in my journey I like to share them. In no way am I being paid by the companies to say these things and they are my complete and honest opinion.

Progresso Light Soups- They are only about 80-90 calories for half a can or for the whole can maybe 180. They are super filling and they have lots of fun flavors. My favorites so far are their cheesy chicken enchilada and the italian meatball. 

Sara Lee 45 calorie whole wheat bread- 45 calories for one slice 90 calories for two slices! I love bread but it always took such a chunk out of my calories for the day. I put a little butter on it in the morning or some jam or honey and peanut butter! So yummy!

Yoplait light yogurts: lots of flavors 90 calories each

I love frozen microwavable pre-cooked sausage- so easy and yummy and great to start out my day with some good protein.

So my weigh in this morning I am down 3.2 lbs!!! YAY! Feeling great! This makes my total weight loss so far 7.2lbs! 

Weapons of Mass Reduction Week 2

Monday: Bodypump 60 min, ran 1.5 miles outside 11:40 min/mile

Tuesday: T25 Cardio Workout (Alpha Phase)
Wednesday: Jillian Michaels Shred it with Weights (wasn't impressed), jog/ran 1.5 miles outside with Duke (not the fastest time Duke struggles running in a straight line!)
Thursday: Insanity Plyometric Cardio Circuit (Intense!)
Friday: 1.5 mile run with Duke 12:05 min/mile
Saturday: 2.06 mile run with Duke 12:39 min/mile


I'm tempted to put the scale away for the next few weeks. This week I noticed myself obsessing over the scale. I weighed myself 3 days in a row and the scale wasn't budging besides going up a little! Then I would get frustrated because I felt good and I felt like I was getting in shape. It de-motivated me. I started doing some research and I found that its actually not a good idea to weigh yourself for the first few weeks when starting a new exercise/diet program. Your body is going through a lot of changes and its just not fair to you to have the scale tell you its working that quick. A lot of it is water weight and also the scale doesn't know the difference between water,fat and muscle.

It's been a bad eating week so I'm not even planning on weighing in tomorrow morning so I'm just posting this tonight. Friday night we went to Red Lobster...so good! Oh my goodness but their dang biscuits I should have just told them to not even bring them. If it hadn't have been for them I would have been fine. Oh and today... made a bad decision to start the day with pop tarts. Did you know a serving size is only 1 pop tart?! What a scam. Then package them as signals! Geez! Anywhoo that was 1/4 of my daily calorie allowance right there...dang!



(Ok I weighed in...I'm down .8 lbs. Making my total weight loss so far 4lbs! pretty happy if I keep this up I will be down 20lbs by the end of the year/challenge!)

Mom P's B-day, Lindsey's B-day and Halloween!

My (Lindsey) parents came and visited us in ND for a few days over mine and my mom's b-day. They got here on Friday Oct. 25 which is my mom's b-day. I picked them up from the airport, pretty sure its one of the smallest airports ever. We went back to the house and hung out while we waited for Ben to get off of work. My parents were being so silly they had their ipad and their phones and were Facebooking and making me laugh so hard. They said they never have time to do that because they are always so busy. We had a great "life" talk. I love my parents they are some of my best friends. I am so lucky I am literally able to talk to them about everything and anything I love it.

When Ben got home we went to dinner at Famous Dave's It was delicious. When we got home we watched TV and a movie and sang happy birthday to my mom and had cake. 

Saturday morning we all slept in. Then we went to the only doughnut shop (that I can find) in Bismarck. We bought 1 of every doughnut! It was 3 boxes of doughnuts!!! 

Went back home ate doughnuts and the guys tried to figure out how to work a clay pigeon shooter we bought. Then it was off to shoot the shotgun. We only had to drive about 20 min and it was a nice/safe outdoor range. The clay pigeon thrower worked once and then we lost a screw so we just threw them with the handheld one for the rest of the time. Oh my goodness I love shooting!!! The shotgun is a blast! (no pun intended). My mom was a little worried but she did great! And guess who shot the clay pigeon on her very first shot of the day...Thats right me! I am a redneck woman :D 

My mom shooting the gun.

Then we drove down the road a little more and went to a lake to go fishing. We only had one fishing pole. We didn't end up catching anything but it was a gorgeous day and it was just us there. Duke was extremely happy to be there. We let him off his leash and he went crazy! He was playing in the sand and running around he absolutely loved it! And then we heard a splash...poor Duke had fallen in the lake. Ben went running down and was able to pull him out. He was fine. We weren't sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for Duke. It was hilarious but Duke was also so scared when he was in the water. He dried off on the sand and stayed a little bit further away from the lake from then on. That night we went to Olive Garden for dinner! Yum! I threw up in the parking lot after because my GERD was bugging me so bad! Lame! Then we went and saw a movie and got milk to have doughnuts with in the morning.

Me fishing. Like my new hair color?!

Sunday, Oct. 27 My b-day! My cute nieces in Ohio called me in the morning. They wanted to know if I had a computer and if I would like to talk on the computer (Skype). So cute! They sang happy birthday to me and told me stories. Loved it! We all took showers and got ready for the day. We wanted to go shop and look around at the mall but since we live in such a small town the mall doesn't open till noon! At the mall I got a really warm hoodie and a super warm coat that I got a great deal on! Went back home took a nap, ordered pizza and watched a movie! My parents left early the next morning! We had such a fun weekend!

My mom modeling my new coat.

Me in my new hoodie with the tag still on.

For Halloween we didn't do anything special. We did dress up and we looked Awesome! We only got one trick or treater and it was a lady from the ward with her son. We stayed warm inside and watched scary movies.

Weapons of Mass Reduction Week 1

Last year around this time my sis in law Karlie invited me to do a Holiday Fitness Challenge with her. A friend of hers started a Facebook page and we all contributed $3 to the pot and were paired up with someone in the group. Everyone would post during the fitness challenge motivating quotes what there workouts were looking like that day/week what they were struggling with etc. There were 3 categories that you could win: Biggest Loser (based on % lost) Best fitted Jeans and Mr/Mrs. Energy. I stayed involved in the discussion but really did not put a lot of effort into it and I don't think I really changed my workout habits. So anyways I chose to do the challenge again this year. I invited some of my friends and family to also join this year. Ben is doing it with me and is in my group. This year instead of $3 we each did $10. I believe our Biggest loser pot is at $350 and then the best fitted jeans is $150 and then Mr/Mrs. Energy is some gift cards and fun stuff. This week was the first week of the challenge. Between my plantar fasciitis GERD and just not feeling as healthy I'm really excited to get back to my healthy self. The group is amazing. I was worried about not working out on Tuesday so I posted on the group page to give me crap if I didn't work out and I had multiple comments encouraging me to get my work out in! It was great! We are all trying to better ourselves and stay healthy through the crazy holidays. This week went really well for me. I have started using myfitnesspal again I have it set at 2lbs per week which puts me at about 1200 calories a day. When I exercise I get extra calories for what I have burned. Some days I use them some days I don't. Here is what my workouts looked like this week:

Tuesday: Went for a run outside. Got a 12:20 mile time which is awesome for me! I went 1.5 miles

Love my new headband for cold running days.

I took this pic and posted it on the groups page so they knew I was out and running.

Wednesday: Same as Tuesday and then also did Jillian Michaels : 6 week 6 pack Abs level 1. It was intense but I liked it! Excited to see how much I can progress. The entire workout is on Youtube!!! Awesome! So give it a try if you want a free good workout!

Thursday: I did T25 lower body focus! Wow! Awesome!

Friday: Insanity's Recovery. I thought it was going to be a little bit more "relaxed". Silly me. It was yoga and stretching mixed with pushups and planks! Whoo good workout though and I finished.

Saturday: Insanity's Fit Test. Ben did it with me. Whoo it was rough but another awesome workout! We also took Duke for about 1.5 mile walk that evening.

As of this morning I am down 3.2 lbs. I'm going to try and weigh in once a week but sometimes its hard not to do more.

My goals for this challenge are:

Lose 15lbs
For the 5K on Thanksgiving morning run it in 35 min or less
Be able to do 5 real pushups. I'm really going to focus on cutting down on sugars and carbs ahh! So rough! I want to up my protein at least 50 grams a day of good protein.

Time Flies

I really really really hate thinking of blog title posts. Maybe I'll just start going through the dictionary and using the first word that I open to on a page...blah! 

Anywhoo...I don't think I should blog when I'm in these weird moods but eh...what can ya do?

So first off I think I mentioned last post (or maybe not) that Ben and I signed up to do a run Thanksgiving morning. Ben is doing a 10K (6.2) miles and I'm doing a 5K(3.1) miles. I've never trained for a 5K I just kind of show up do it and then get frustrated with how out of shape I am! HA! Not this time. I found a Couch to 5K running plan printed it out and hung it on the fridge. The first week I think I only ran once but I've been doing better. Last week I ran 3 times. This week I've ran once so far. I can't believe what my body is capable of! I love pushing myself it feels great! This week I'm on the run 6 walk 2 phase. By Thanksgiving week I should have worked up to running (not jalking jog/walking) for 30 min straight. I would really like to finish in 35 minutes or less so we will see. 

Since Sunday I have felt like I have something stuck in my throat. It made me gag and everything. Its gotten worse and worse and is really bad when I lay down at night. My throat is not sore at all. I still have my tonsils. After trying to self diagnose myself on the internet (I know I know) I finally gave up and went to the Doctor today. I really don't like going to the doctor. I miss this lady I used to go back to in Utah. She was like an alternative medicine doctor but her office was so calming and she never rushed you. Also the midwives that I went to for my anxiety meds were great too. They always took time and actually listened. Every other doctor its like badda bing badda boom here's an RX. OK off my tangent. Went to the doc she felt my throat asked questions looked down it with a light just like normal. Had my thyroid and CBC tested (came back normal) and I'm going in for a swallow test tomorrow. Basically they give me things to eat and swallow do an x-ray while they film it. Hopefully we can get it figured out soon because I am going crazy! 

Ben has found an interest in remote control planes. We splurged and bought him a whole set up a few weeks ago and it finally arrived yesterday. He has basically been working on it non stop when he's home. I get to be the co-pilot! I'm super excited! As soon as he gets some things figured out on it we are going to head out and fly it. Its a pretty big plane the wing span is about 4 4.5 feet.  It has this really awesome remote control too and you can hook it up to the computer and all that good stuff.

And last but not least a little tangent of something that made me frustrated today. I'm not going to go into details just in case but basically I was asked to go to a planning meeting today. Well I take an hour out of my day to go this meeting where we were asked to bring ideas and such...silly me... somehow its already planned??? Annoying! Like c'mon really? 

Ok thats it.

Well no its not. The other day Ben and I wanted to go shooting so we first drove around to see if we could find a place before hand. About 20 minutes away from our house we found an awesome shooting range with a gorgeous lake nearby. So fun! We are really loving ND!

Hello October!

I know I've said this before but I really hate thinking of blog titles. Anyway, I found my journal hallelujah! We sold our bed frame and before we did I checked the side tables and there it was! Thank the heavens! 

We are loving North Dakota! We miss Utah of course especially when we are there but North Dakota has really found a place in our hearts. We live in the 2nd largest city in the state and Bismarck is still super small! I do miss the mountains a lot but ND has its own amazing beauty. I got really worried the the other weekend when it snowed but the snow melted and now the fall colors are absolutely gorgeous! We took a walk to the park today and it literally took my breath away. The park is just down the street and Duke loves to go play there. I've been taking lots of "nature" pictures lately. If you haven't already seen them on Facebook here are a few. I've also included pictures of some other randomness :P

The halloween wreath I put together. I used a foam wreath an old t-shirt and a halloween stocking.

This is our street. Look at those colors! Amazing!

I took this picture while I was driving but I couldn't resist! I was listening to country music at the same time and I felt like a country girl for sure!  

Love everything in this picture amazing! 

Ben and I before the Florida Georgia Line Concert last weekend! We had a blast!

We made S'more hot chocolate the weekend it snowed. It was so delicious and easy to make! 

Ben's job is starting to slow down for the season so we are trying to figure out a plan. Our lease on our apartment is up the end of November. There are plenty of jobs up here though so Ben is looking into some options.We have looked into buying a house but nothing very serious as of yet. I'll just quickly get this part over with... I made a HUGE mistake. I took on 3 jobs got really burned out so now I'm only working 2. I feel really good about my decision. I work at Gold's Gym in the Kids Club (free membership) and I'm a CNA with Dakota Travel Nurse. It's really good money and I really enjoy being a CNA! Now there is Duke. We are worried he has worms again (not fun!) so we are giving him meds to help. He also had a little tiff with the dog upstairs this morning but I think he's OK. He's just been through so much and we are making so much progress with him it just kind of made us really upset but we are good now. Well thats it for now. Just being crazy, random, and loving life as usual! 

Good,Better,Best

*Disclaimer-this is going to be a somewhat religious post. If reading it is going to offend you, make you upset or angry, or make you want to start an argument (please don't)...just know that you have been warned*

I'm going to hang this up on my fridge or front door or something as a reminder.

I've been struggling lately. I have been happy don't get me wrong but just struggling with where I fit in in this world. If you read this list a lot of the things are exactly how I feel sometimes. I also came from the "Utah Bubble". Which I know I should be grateful for but moving to North Dakota really opened my eyes to religion. The LDS religion is not what you do here. It's not the way of life. Its not assumed that you are Mormon until you tell someone otherwise. I'm not blaming my "questioning" on growing up in Utah but it definitely has a part of it. The other part is I think I'm finally growing up...I know finally...and trying to figure out what I think. Anyway, the reason I'm writing this today is 1) I can't find my journal still I guess I should by a new one but I also enjoy sharing my thoughts. 2)We went to church today and the sister who gave one of the talks just really hit home with me. She almost described my life right now to a T! Ben kept squeezing my arm or tapping my knee while she was talking because it was so me what she was saying.

She started out her talk with this quote from Dallin H. Oaks from his talk Good,Better, Best.
We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

She then talked about how she had got so caught up in the "wordly" things of life. She wanted to have a clean house, be a great cook, be crafty, be the perfect wife, do well at her job while working crazy amounts of hours there as well. She found herself not happy because she wasn't prioritizing what was important in her life. She began setting aside time each day or week to focus on her spirituality.

Now where am I going with all of this? I love to stay busy so just dropping everything and focusing on my spirtual side is in no way the answer for me. However, I put so much pressure on myself and I know I do and I don't think pinterest or facebook help. It makes me think that everyone but me cooks a unique yet delicious meal, has a cute and organized house, is the best wife, excells at her job and is running marathons. Ugh...I love staying busy however, I need to remember to focus on why I do those things. I shouldn't be doing them to compete with anyone else. I should be doing them because I like to have a clean house I like to feel happy I like to be good wife I like my job and I like being healthy. I personally think it is so important to have spirituality be a part of your life. That doesn't mean you have to be part of a religion either. But for me right now the LDS church is my comfort zone. I believe the majority of its teachings. Some things I have a rough time with but I'm working on it. This week I'm really going to try and focus on the reasoning behind what I'm doing and finding joy in each task and living in the moment. I'm also going to really try and pray and read my scriptures each day. I think it will really help me to get back to my roots and find some of the answers I need.  After all my thoughts today I really feel good about my decision to hold of on school this semester. School is extremely important and a huge priority to Ben and I but we feel we have other priorities and our plates our too full right now to take that on and do well. We both feel good about that decision. I'm excited for the journey's we have to come. I know this was probably a deep and babbling post maybe didn't even make sense what I was trying to say. However, its not for anyone else but me. Journaling has always been a huge part of my life. Its so important and healthy for me to get my thoughts out.

If anyone would like to join I'm going to try and do this scripture challenge.    

Hey..ey!

Do do da doo. When I was a little girl my response to the question "What do you want to be when I grow up?" Was "A doctor, a mom, a dancer, and work at McDonalds." Hahaha... Love it! I feel like I have the same answers now. I want to be a mom one day (please still don't ask I swear I'll had another 5 years to the time frame I have in my head) I miss dancing so much. I miss teaching dance and I miss performing. I don't want to be a doctor but I think I would enjoy being a nurse. Well I've been debating that a lot lately as well. Obviously the pay difference between a nurse and a CNA is great but I see what nurses do every day and I don't know if I would love it as much as I love being a CNA. I love the interaction I get as I CNA. As a nurse you don't do a ton of patient interaction and I think I would miss that. *I have a little chip on my shoulder about doctors today. Had some bad experiences. I really wish doctors were more people oriented sometimes* Anywho...I was really debating about going to school this semester and right when the semester started my grandpa passed and we flew out to Utah for the funeral. Along with some debt we are trying to pay off I decided I needed to take this semester off to really get focused so I can do well if I decide to go. 

So right now I still work at Sanford as a CNA. I am also working for Dakota Travel Nurse as a CNA. I have my first shift with them on Saturday. Its basically on call work (pay is really nice) I just let them know what shifts if any I want to pick up at different locations. I've also been in touch with a dance studio here is Bismarck about teaching at the studio and hope to hear back from them soon. Awhile back I also applied at Golds Gym and I have an interview with them tomorrow to work in the child care. 

Am I Crazy? I think so...but I'm not the one who married me! HA!

What are y'all's experienced opinions? Who wants to just figure out a plan for me? :D

Gramps

My Grandpa Smith passed away on Tuesday August 27th. Kind of neat and sweet him and my grandma were only apart for 28 days. I know he needed to be with her and it just really made his personality show because he was so stubborn. He waited until he knew she was OK. I miss him so much though. It's so hard for everyone still here without them. I feel like I'm having an especially hard time just because they both passed away while we are here in North Dakota. I'm so grateful for all the times I was able to spend with my grandparents. Just recently when we were down for my grandma's funeral I was playing solitaire at my grandpa's house. He had been kind of out of it that day but pretty soon after I got the cards out he jumped right in and started helping me play. Then he asked me if I wanted to share a banana with him. That moment meant so much to me, especially now. I have so many memories of my grandpa. He was hilarious and stubborn as hell. I'm pretty positive I get my stubbornness from him. I remember when I was home schooled in 6th grade my mom would have me go to their house sometimes in the morning and do some school work.  My grandpa would always watch "The Price is Right" and we would eat yogurt. If I was ever doing math homework he didn't like me to count with my fingers he wanted me to count in my head. So funny. Both him and my grandma were avid Jazz fans to the point where they would even just listen to the games on the radio if they weren't on TV. Gramps always called to let us know what time and what channel the game would be on so we could watch it. I remember playing Kings in the corner with my grandpa and my grandma would sneak over my shoulder and give me hints and tips. He was passionate about gas mileage and the details on our car. I'll try to do better on keeping track of my gas mileage for you grandpa. One of the many things I got from my grandpa's many stories was to always stand up for yourself.  I think that is so important. He taught me that it isn't ok for others to treat you unfairly. We wont go into the ways he made it known to people who did not treat him fair because thats besides the point. Grandpa was very protective of his grandkids. You didn't mess with us or else he would hunt you down. I'm not kidding...He loved his 3 great granddaughters very much. They new him as grandpa great. 

I miss my grandma and grandpa so very much. I'm so glad they are together and I know I am so lucky to have had them in my life for as long as I did. 

Grandma Smith

My grandma (my mom's mom) passed away on Tuesday July 30th. She passed away in the arms of my dad. Instead of dwelling on the sadness of it all and how much I miss her and how rough it is somedays I just wanted to write down some of my memories of my grandma.My brothers and my sister and I were her only grandkids and so we were very close with her. 

She was an amazing person! She was so much fun! I remember having sleepovers at my grandparents house and watching the Utah Jazz games. My grandma would get all sorts of treats ready for us and put them in bowls. She would hold her hand up like she was covering the basketball hoop when the opposing team tried to make a shot in hopes the ball would "bounce" off her hands. When the score got too close she would go into the other bedroom but then turn the TV in on there because she couldn't stand to watch it. 

She made amazing food. One of my favorites was her maraschino Cherry Salad without the Cherries. It's made with whip cream, jello, and velveeta cheese. Kind of weird sounding I know but its delicious!

Whenever anyone had sickness or an injury like a headache or something she would rub your head in one motion. Like across your forehead pick up her hand and then across your forehead. When it felt better,which it always did, she would then wash her hands to get the pain out of her hands. I loved it. I always knew grandma could make me feel better.  

She loved to fish and be outside. She loved cacti and roadrunners. She loved to garden and always took really great care of her lawn. 

Unfortunately, she suffered from Alzheimers so I am happy that she is out of pain and confusion. Miss you Grams. 

My grandma and I fishing

Grandma and I

Me,my mom, and my grandma

We made it to Bismarck,ND

There may not be a ton of pictures with this post and I apologize. I took some awesome shots on the drive up and unfortunately my phone crashed and I lost them all so sad. Well things sometimes just don't go as planned. We figured it was going to be around a 15-18 hour drive to Bismarck and we wanted to leave really early but we ended up not leaving until about 10am. The drive was gorgeous Ben,Duke, and I drove in the truck and pulled the trailer. My dad drove behind us in the Mazda (yes my dads amazing to have done this drive with us and help move us up here on such short notice.) We had never pulled a trailer before with our truck so we were curious to see what kind of gas mileage we got. Let me tell you it wasn't good. About three hours in we had to fill up the tank. So having to stop that often to fill up kind of put us back a little on time. The good thing was the Mazda was getting great gas mileage and we were only having to fill it up about every other time we filled up the truck. Around 10pm we were on the Eastern side of Montana and we could tell everyone needed a rest so we found a little hotel and crashed. We had to sneak Duke in. I'm so grateful he is such a good dog or else we could have really had some problems. We just slept until we felt rested in the morning and then headed out on the road again. Mind you this whole time we technically don't have a place to live I have 2 places that have said its a possibility but we have nothing set in stone yet. We get to Bismarck and it is just pouring rain. We get to the duplex that we are hoping to rent and I can't get a hold of the landlord. So we go to Walmart and get my dad a hoodie because we hadn't planned on this weather and we get a blow up mattress because we don't have anything to sleep on. Still don't hear back from the landlord so we stop at TacoJohns a little mexican fast food place. Finally, we hear from the landlord go back to the duplex we take a look around sign the lease it stops raining for about an hour we get everything pretty much unpacked and thats it!

The next morning we dropped my dad off at the airport which is literally down the street. We basically live on airport road. There is also an active train track right by our house. That has taken some getting used to. I swear the conductor falls asleep on the horn some nights. Having people above us again has also taken some getting used to. They have a dog and we call him Crazy Old Bruce. He's crazy for real. It rained almost non stop for about the first month we were here and now its just hot and humid. A few things I've learned about North Dakota: Almost everyone wears Underarmor or TheNorthFace clothing. The majority of people are Catholic or Lutheran. They are huge on motorcycles especially Harley Davidsons. They have 2 Walmarts a north and south one. When you tell them you moved up here for work they assume you are working in the oil fields. They don't have enough people for the jobs they have available and they don't have enough housing for the people they need. There is only 3 types of music available on the radio. I like to call them the 3 C's: Country,Christian, and Classic Rock.

I was going to post more pictures of the inside of the house but I will just have to do that later because its taken me over 2 months to get this post up! Also...look up Minnesota accents on youtube. That's kind of how they talk here and some days I really pick up on the accent. Oops!

Trip to Utah and 4 year Anniversary

We headed down to Utah the last weekend of June first week of July. Before we even left Bismarck Duke wigged out and jumped in his water bowl when we went over a bump it scared him so he jumped over to the front seat. We had to pull over and get him situated. He kills me.

 By the way its about a 15 or so hour drive to Salt Lake. We did it in one shot. We got there at about 4am...luckily my family had the bed and room all ready for us which was so nice!
The next day or same day that we got there however you want to look at it was Sunday. We actually went to breakfast with my sis Morgan and her husband Spencer. It was delicious! Then we had Sunday dinner at my parents house. Monday we helped my parents out a little because my grandparents had to have new tile installed in their home. My mom had to work and my dad had to clear out the house for the installers. So I made my grandparents waffles and we visited them. It was so nice to see them. Duke loves grandma he would not leave her alone.
Before we left for Park City Ben got his hair cut and I got some pink streaks put in just for fun!

That afternoon Ben and I left for our stay in Park City to celebrate our anniversary. After checking into the hotel we headed down to main street for dinner. We ended up going to a Sushi place. Ben loves sushi however, I'm pretty picky.

Our hotel was AMAZING! We had a kitchen and a beautiful view from our balcony.

We went shopping at the outlets in Park CIty and got some amazing deals! We got some clothes, sunglasses, I got a great deal on a really nice rain coat. We also got a really good deal on a wedding band for me.

After we got home from Park City we hung out with my family. One day we even talked Ben into going and getting a pedicure with us. He actually enjoyed it for the most part. 

On Friday we spent most of the day cooking and baking. We were having a family get together at my grandma Parry's that evening. My Uncle Ladd from Arizona had came up and some of my cousins from Boston were also in town. Talk about good timing. I rode up with my dad on his motorcycle. Loved it! It was perfect weather. 

 Believe it or not it started raining while we were sitting out on the porch eating. 

After the party Morgan,Spencer,Ben and I went to my cousins theatre to watch their improv show. Morgan took this picture. It kind of turned out funny those are her arms holding her phone to take the pic.

We had a blast and it was so nice to see everyone. Hopefully we can go back again soon.

There are still nice people in this world...even at Walmart.

On Saturday I was doing a shopping trip at Walmart. I started out getting a lawn chair that I've been wanting and Duke's food. Just those two items alone took one cart so I had to leave that cart at customer service and use another one for the rest of the shopping. Based on the amount of groceries I had ot probably looked like I had 5 kids at home a dog and a husband! There was a lady probably in her 50's with her husband standing behind me in the checkout line. They had ONE item. I told them or they could go ahead of me. She offered to watch my cart while I went and grabbed the other cart. When I came back I started making small talk about how I was glad to be getting this out of the weekend and its one more thing to cross off my "to do" list. She said not to worry and take it one thing at a time and if you don't finish your list that's OK. She also told me to learn to say "No" to people and I don't need yo give them a reason I'm an adult. It was so crazy because I really needed to hear those things and she had no idea of my situation. I thought it was really sweet of her. Also, to meet such a nice person at Walmart on a Saturday is just amazing. One of those moments that restores your faith in humanity.