Good,Better,Best

*Disclaimer-this is going to be a somewhat religious post. If reading it is going to offend you, make you upset or angry, or make you want to start an argument (please don't)...just know that you have been warned*

I'm going to hang this up on my fridge or front door or something as a reminder.

I've been struggling lately. I have been happy don't get me wrong but just struggling with where I fit in in this world. If you read this list a lot of the things are exactly how I feel sometimes. I also came from the "Utah Bubble". Which I know I should be grateful for but moving to North Dakota really opened my eyes to religion. The LDS religion is not what you do here. It's not the way of life. Its not assumed that you are Mormon until you tell someone otherwise. I'm not blaming my "questioning" on growing up in Utah but it definitely has a part of it. The other part is I think I'm finally growing up...I know finally...and trying to figure out what I think. Anyway, the reason I'm writing this today is 1) I can't find my journal still I guess I should by a new one but I also enjoy sharing my thoughts. 2)We went to church today and the sister who gave one of the talks just really hit home with me. She almost described my life right now to a T! Ben kept squeezing my arm or tapping my knee while she was talking because it was so me what she was saying.

She started out her talk with this quote from Dallin H. Oaks from his talk Good,Better, Best.
We should begin by recognizing the reality that just because something is good is not a sufficient reason for doing it. The number of good things we can do far exceeds the time available to accomplish them. Some things are better than good, and these are the things that should command priority attention in our lives.

She then talked about how she had got so caught up in the "wordly" things of life. She wanted to have a clean house, be a great cook, be crafty, be the perfect wife, do well at her job while working crazy amounts of hours there as well. She found herself not happy because she wasn't prioritizing what was important in her life. She began setting aside time each day or week to focus on her spirituality.

Now where am I going with all of this? I love to stay busy so just dropping everything and focusing on my spirtual side is in no way the answer for me. However, I put so much pressure on myself and I know I do and I don't think pinterest or facebook help. It makes me think that everyone but me cooks a unique yet delicious meal, has a cute and organized house, is the best wife, excells at her job and is running marathons. Ugh...I love staying busy however, I need to remember to focus on why I do those things. I shouldn't be doing them to compete with anyone else. I should be doing them because I like to have a clean house I like to feel happy I like to be good wife I like my job and I like being healthy. I personally think it is so important to have spirituality be a part of your life. That doesn't mean you have to be part of a religion either. But for me right now the LDS church is my comfort zone. I believe the majority of its teachings. Some things I have a rough time with but I'm working on it. This week I'm really going to try and focus on the reasoning behind what I'm doing and finding joy in each task and living in the moment. I'm also going to really try and pray and read my scriptures each day. I think it will really help me to get back to my roots and find some of the answers I need.  After all my thoughts today I really feel good about my decision to hold of on school this semester. School is extremely important and a huge priority to Ben and I but we feel we have other priorities and our plates our too full right now to take that on and do well. We both feel good about that decision. I'm excited for the journey's we have to come. I know this was probably a deep and babbling post maybe didn't even make sense what I was trying to say. However, its not for anyone else but me. Journaling has always been a huge part of my life. Its so important and healthy for me to get my thoughts out.

If anyone would like to join I'm going to try and do this scripture challenge.    

Hey..ey!

Do do da doo. When I was a little girl my response to the question "What do you want to be when I grow up?" Was "A doctor, a mom, a dancer, and work at McDonalds." Hahaha... Love it! I feel like I have the same answers now. I want to be a mom one day (please still don't ask I swear I'll had another 5 years to the time frame I have in my head) I miss dancing so much. I miss teaching dance and I miss performing. I don't want to be a doctor but I think I would enjoy being a nurse. Well I've been debating that a lot lately as well. Obviously the pay difference between a nurse and a CNA is great but I see what nurses do every day and I don't know if I would love it as much as I love being a CNA. I love the interaction I get as I CNA. As a nurse you don't do a ton of patient interaction and I think I would miss that. *I have a little chip on my shoulder about doctors today. Had some bad experiences. I really wish doctors were more people oriented sometimes* Anywho...I was really debating about going to school this semester and right when the semester started my grandpa passed and we flew out to Utah for the funeral. Along with some debt we are trying to pay off I decided I needed to take this semester off to really get focused so I can do well if I decide to go. 

So right now I still work at Sanford as a CNA. I am also working for Dakota Travel Nurse as a CNA. I have my first shift with them on Saturday. Its basically on call work (pay is really nice) I just let them know what shifts if any I want to pick up at different locations. I've also been in touch with a dance studio here is Bismarck about teaching at the studio and hope to hear back from them soon. Awhile back I also applied at Golds Gym and I have an interview with them tomorrow to work in the child care. 

Am I Crazy? I think so...but I'm not the one who married me! HA!

What are y'all's experienced opinions? Who wants to just figure out a plan for me? :D