2 peanuts continued...

I'm writing all of this down in my blog for a few really good reasons but anyways.

After my super long day at IHC when I was assaulted my supervisor approved me for some time off (Paid? ummm still trying to figure that part out...) After about a week of being off work I decided that when I went back to work I wanted to do graveyards. It's a different atmosphere on graves and if you have ever worked them you know what I mean. I met with my counselor the day before I was to return to work. She is awesome and I really enjoy meeting with her. Ben also came with me to that appointment which helped a ton. We talked about different coping mechanisms and relaxation techniques to help with the anxiety when returning to work. The day I was supposed to return I had a really bad anxiety attack and had to take my anxiety medication. Ben dropped me off at work and kept reminding me it wasn't going to be as bad as I was thinking it was going to be. I had spoken with my supervisor a few days before regarding what actions should be taken to help me be comfortable in coming back to work. All that I asked was no young male patients for a while which shouldn't be a problem because I hardly ever ever ever get young male patients. So I show up to the floor I had been assigned to and my assignment is a 1 on 1 with a patient. I check in with the charge nurse and let her know that it is my first shift back since being assaulted by a patient. The charge nurse could have cared less. So I head to the patients room and I get report from the nurse. The patient is a young male, was involved in a high speed chase and almost ran over a police officer. There is no security in the room, no officers, and no restraints. I am supposed to close the door and sit in the room with him for 12 hours. Also, there is a list of 5 people he is allowed to see and if anyone else shows up I have to turn them away. Wow what a great first night back at work right??? I'm furious having another anxiety attack. So I text Ben and he flips and comes up to the floor I am working on. The patients sister who was not on the list but the charge nurse approved is alone in the room with the patient. I call staffing to let them know I am not OK and need to leave. They just kinda blow me off and call the charge nurse. Meanwhile I head to the patients room to get my stuff. Ben is talking to the charge nurse who says yes I told her about being assaulted but that kind of stuff happens all the time. They were going to change my patient assignment but I just left. I emailed my supervisor and my counselor letting them know the situation. My supervisor emailed me back saying there is no way for anyone to have a say in which patients I get. So why did she ask in the first place? Needless to say I put in my 2 weeks but I will not be working during those 2 weeks. My counselor called and said she was so sorry for the way things turned out but she has offered to meet with me for free for the next few months. I am so happy that I can continue to see her because I can connect with her  and she understands what I am trying to say. I am super frustrated with the way that I was treated and the situation was approached by IHC.

2 peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted

*Warning- This post is my way of venting. It may not be very uplifting or positive but this is something I needed to do.*

This really isn't a funny story at all but I deal with stress by using humor and this joke has been running through my head ever since the incident happened so I figured maybe it was a good title for it. Monday morning I go to work. I actually packed myself a yummy lunch (Thanks to Superbowl leftovers) and I have a positive attitude. I get sent to the floor that one of my good friends works on and hope that she is working that day as well. Get to work find out I'm "sitting" for a patient. The previous CNA tells me that the patient tried to leave the hospital the night before and tries to pull out his IV's which is why he has a sitter.The patient is in the hospital because he has multiple stab wounds in his stomach and he won't tell anyone if he did them or someone else. He was admitted to the hospital intoxicated. He is fully aware of actions and "all there". The patient, lets call him Bob, is late 20's early 30's, 6'2" approx, and probably between 250-300 lbs. He's asleep. I sit down in the room and my friend comes in and talks to me for a while. About an hour later, this would be 8am, the nurse comes in to give him some medication. He wakes up and is a bit ornery and so is the nurse. She leaves for a minute to go get something and Bob gets out of bed. I come over to stand by him and he begins pulling his IV's out. I touch his hand gently and say "don't do that it will hurt." Bob says " Don't touch me, I want to leave" I say "I'm sorry, OK lets just sit down for a minute." Bob pulls his hand back makes a fist and POW hits me right in the chest. I fall back a little bit and Bob goes and sits by the window and says " I said don't touch me". I am in shock. I'm a little naive I guess the word is but I have never been hit in my life. Of course I've been hit playfully or accidentally but never by a huge guy out of anger. I hit the rooms call light and no one answers for like 5 minutes. The nurse comes in and I tell her what happened and she tells the patient not to hit and for me to file a WebEvent AKA IHC's way of reporting and "incident". So, I'm like OK. She leaves. I'm still sitting in the room with Mr. Krazy by myself and he tells me he wants to call his dad. So I help him. AN HOUR passes... now we are at 9am. I am still all alone in the room with a violent patient who hit me. Excuse my language but what the HELL? Finally, the head nurse comes in the room and tells the patient he can't hit people especially those taking care of them. The nurse looks at me and kinda does a you're OK thumbs up sort of deal. Then security shows up and I walk out into the hall to talk to them and I start crying. Now of all times for me to cry...genius. The security guys could not have looked more awkward. One of them says "Can you tell us what happened?" So I tell them my story. They say they would advise me to press charges and am I comfortable sitting in the room with this patient for the rest of my shift? I'm like I don't know what the crap. Am I comfortable sitting in a room with a guy who just hit me and that I could possibly be pressing charges against? Am I going insane? What is going on? Then the charge nurse comes up to me and says she will be keeping me till 11am when she can get a replacement for me but she will have another CNA right away come in to sit with Bob and I will take that CNA's 8 patients on the floor for 2 hours. Oh my goodness. So I get report on my 8 patients that I will be taking and start trying to do rounds then I get a call that my manager is here to see me. She gives me a hug and some candy. Then I start trying to finish my rounds and I have a deaf patient who is so sweet that I am trying to get  settled and about 5 other patients who would like a bath or shower and other misc. things. I get another call that a Psych nurse is here to evaluate and speak with me. While I am talking with the psych nurse the Murray police officer shows up to file an assault charge. During all of this I keep getting calls that "one of my patients needs a sprite, someone wants to take a shower, Can I take a pudding into room 2" I thought the nurse and the officer were going to blow. After talking with the psych nurse she prescribes me xantax to help with anxiety and panic attacks. I'm an anxious person as is and I have a lot of anxiety about different things sometimes. I press assault charges with the officer and he tells me that this is a class B misdemeanor and as soon as Bob is discharged from the hospital he will be arrested. I will probably have to go to court and Bob will probably claim that it was the medications that influenced him. The officer checks with the nurse and there were not medications that would influence him like that. The psych nurse has called employee health and I need to go get checked out. It is finally 11am and I am getting ready to leave so I go turn in some things to the charge nurse and she says "Did you file a webevent?" Umm... let me see... I filed something with security something with one nurse pressed charges with an officer but did I file a webevent I have no idea!!!! So I have to do the "webevent" before I leave. Little backtrack I had texted (I know terrible but he was at work) Ben to let him know a little bit what was going on. He called my mom. Needless to say by the time I was finally able to look at my phone again 2 hours later it was blowing up with missed calls and texts messages and things like we are going to get a lawyer and oh geez. My phone had a low battery too. So I call Ben give him the DL his work won't let him leave. Then I call my mom from a phone in the break room and she is wanting to know if she should leave work to come and be with me and that stresses me out because I don't want people having to leave work because of me so I tell her no it's OK. My sis in law Karlie is here with Josslyn while Jason is at training for the military so my mom says that Karlie can come over and be with me which turned out to be such a blessing because I probably would have lost it. So I start walking over to where the Employee Health place is and I meet up with Karlie who almost has her masters in Psychology so this is good and she keeps me calm and Josslyn and its so good to see Josslyn because she makes me happy and she is so silly and gives people funny looks and laughs at random things like me.

Josslyn

So we 3 head up to see the employee health nurse which is a very nice lady and sets me up with an appt. to see workmed to checked out and makes an appt. for me to go meet with a counselor. She assures me everything will be paid for and not to worry. We head over to workmed I get checked out no bruising just a contusion with a hematoma but my back and hips are now hurting could be from stress could be from the blow who knows. I'm put on light duty, which as a CNA, there is no such thing. Ice and ibuprofen with my anxiety meds. Have I mentioned I do not get paid enough for all of this because I do not get paid enough. Then we head over for me to meet with the counselor which was actually really good. I am stressed about a lot of things in my life right now and this kind of was the huge last straw for my emotions and mentality. I told the counselor that I felt stupid about this whole situation and how it had blown up into such a big thing. She assured me that it was perfectly OK especially since I'm not a violent person and my job is to care for people and when someone you are trying to take care of assaults you its a big deal. She told me I needed to take as much time off work as I felt I needed and that going back to work could bring a lot of emotions and anxiety. Finally, after getting my prescription filled and taking paperwork to my supervisor I was able to go home. I headed to my parents house where I hung out with my sister Morgan until everyone was off work. It was 4pm by the time I finally got to there house. What an insane day!!! I was exhausted, emotional, angry, depressed, tired, crazy. This week has been a crazy week too. I had to go back to workmed to get checked out again. I've been trying to figure out how I am getting paid for the time off which everyone seems to have different answers for. On top of all of that we just moved (there is a post coming about that) and are trying to get the house cleaned and all, the school wants to charge us money for last semester and a whole bunch of other stressful things going on. And now I'm questioning if I even want to continue being a CNA and then if I even want to be nurse. Somedays I felt really down and depressed but then I have to take a step back and realize I have a great life and I have amazing family and friends and my life could be much much worse but this week it has for some reason been really hard to pull out of that rut. I'm feeling better today though. Still kinda feel like I am in a whirlwind but as good ol' Bob Marley said " Don't Worry,Cause Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright".