Happy Easter ,Grandma Smith's B-day, Garden Time

I believe I wrote in an earlier post that I was celebrating lent. Some people choose to argue that because I'm a "Mormon" that it is pointless to celebrate lent. I choose to disagree. For lent I chose to give up Facebook. I don't think I was necessarily addicted but I definitely spent a lot of time on it when I could have been doing other things. The whole point of lent is to get your prepared spiritually for Easter which is remembering the Atonement and Christs resurrections. Lent is type of fast normally recognized by Catholics.  The point that I am trying to make is that just because I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints does not mean that I don't believe some if not all of what other churches believe so why can't I celebrate lent and prepare myself spiritually for Easter. I know that Jesus Christ is my Savior and he loves each and every one of us and that he died for us and was resurrected so we could live again. I don't like posting this type of stuff often not because I'm ashamed but because I don't want anyone to be offended. I feel I'm very open minded and I have many friends with a wide variety of beliefs and I never want them to think that I don't respect that. This is who I am. I'm a Mormon and I celebrate lent. Happy Easter everyone! I hope everyone had a great day however you celebrate it.


It was not only Easter it was Grandma Smith's birthday!

 Grandma Smith is my (Lindsey's) mom mom's. She is amazing! I have so many great memories with and of her I wish I would have kept better record. I remember camping and fishing with Grandma and Grandpa. I always remember Grandma always have fun ideas and laughing. Sometimes when Grandpa would say something crazy she would make her hand into a gun and pretend shoot herself in the head. If it was really crazy it would be a two gun shot LOL! Grandma is also a really good gardner. She always had different plants and flowers. My older brothers, my little sister and I are their only grandchildren. We have always lived really close to them. Sometimes when we would spend the night over and their house and watch jazz games grandma would make sure we had some sort of treat. When the opposite team was trying to make a shot she would hold her hand up and pretend to cover the hoop in hopes they wouldn't make the shot. If the game became to close she would actually leave and go in the other room. Grandma has Alzheimer's and has had it for few years so things have been a little different lately however, she definetly still has her spunk and doesn't take any crap from Grandpa! Today for her birthday my parents are in the Bahama's having a grand ol' time so we (Me, Ben, Morgan, Spencer and Aki) went over to their house to celebrate. I made some chicken with cream sauce and a strawberry lemonade cake. Want the recipes? Here's a link to my cooking blog :)

On Saturday, Ben and I started our garden! We are so excited to have a lawn this year and a huge field that we share with his parents. We have so much space it's wonderful. We also share some different fruit trees with his parents which is super exciting as well! I made apple pies last Thanksgiving with apples from the trees. Here is a pic of our starter garden. We planted some different herbs, summer squash, pumpkin, watermelon, carrots, cucumbers, and tomatoes. We are going to start another one this weekend with some different plants.

Running out of titles for my posts..

That is the one thing I like about journals. I don't have to think of a post title or a snazzy intro I just write the date at the top of the page and get going. Anyways, our life (Ben and I) is kind of like the weather in Utah. You really don't know what your going to get and if you wait 5 minutes it will change. As of today this is where we are at. I am back at 1800Contacts full time. I left the school to come to 1800 for a few reasons: Better pay, better benefits, job in the summer time, insurance, they pay for runs (5k's, half marathons, marathons) free gym membership with personal trainer, free movie tickets, gift cards for being healthy and so on. Ben is currently at 1800contacts as well but has had some interviews at other places we are hoping to hear back from soon. Ben and I have one car, my mazda3, and Ben's R6 motorcycle. We are looking to buy another vehicle probably a truck. My brother, Jason, is actually selling his truck right now which is awesome and we would really like it. We were hoping to get everything to go through on the loan last week and then fly out to Seattle on my moms benefits and then drive the truck home but that didn't work out so we are hoping that we can do that same plan this weekend. We found a series on netflix that we are now obsessed with. It is called out of the wild. It's where 9 volunteers are dropped off at a location and they have to survive off the land for 60-70miles until they reach civilization. There is no prize at the end and people don't get voted off. If they want to leave they just push a button and a helicopter comes to get them. It's AWESOME! In other news my parents have a Japanese exchange student staying with them right now. Her name is Aki. She is very nice and fun. She will be staying with them until December while she goes to school at the U of U. She likes to play games and loves American movies. She also loves to skateboard. My dad was taking everyone on motorcycle rides last Sunday at dinner because it was such a beautiful day and he took Aki. She has never been on a  motorcycle before and she loved it. Yesterday, Aki and two of her friends made us all miso soup  for dinner. It was delicious and seemed really healthy I just did not like the tofu. Ben and I got free movie tickets from our work to go see the Hunger Games this Thursday and we are taking Aki, My family, and Ben's little sister Cheyenne.
Also, I chose to kind of celebrate lent this year. Some people argue that "I can't" because I'm not Catholic or whatever but I don't care. Lent begins on Ash Wednesday and goes until Easter. It is a time for fasting and prayer and you are supposed to give up some sort of luxury or addiction. I chose to give up facebook. I logged out of it on my phone and laptop and have not been on it since. I miss seeing all the pictures of my family and keeping in touch with those I don't get to see often and such but I feel like my quality of life and focus has definitely improved. Once I get back on after Easter I hope to limit my time on facebook.
It's a whole lot of writing and not a lot of pics but like I said this is more of a journal entry for me.

Aki in the motorcycle helmet. She loves to do the peace sign!

Aki asked us what the longest word we knew was. This is the longest word in the dictionary.

2 peanuts continued...

I'm writing all of this down in my blog for a few really good reasons but anyways.

After my super long day at IHC when I was assaulted my supervisor approved me for some time off (Paid? ummm still trying to figure that part out...) After about a week of being off work I decided that when I went back to work I wanted to do graveyards. It's a different atmosphere on graves and if you have ever worked them you know what I mean. I met with my counselor the day before I was to return to work. She is awesome and I really enjoy meeting with her. Ben also came with me to that appointment which helped a ton. We talked about different coping mechanisms and relaxation techniques to help with the anxiety when returning to work. The day I was supposed to return I had a really bad anxiety attack and had to take my anxiety medication. Ben dropped me off at work and kept reminding me it wasn't going to be as bad as I was thinking it was going to be. I had spoken with my supervisor a few days before regarding what actions should be taken to help me be comfortable in coming back to work. All that I asked was no young male patients for a while which shouldn't be a problem because I hardly ever ever ever get young male patients. So I show up to the floor I had been assigned to and my assignment is a 1 on 1 with a patient. I check in with the charge nurse and let her know that it is my first shift back since being assaulted by a patient. The charge nurse could have cared less. So I head to the patients room and I get report from the nurse. The patient is a young male, was involved in a high speed chase and almost ran over a police officer. There is no security in the room, no officers, and no restraints. I am supposed to close the door and sit in the room with him for 12 hours. Also, there is a list of 5 people he is allowed to see and if anyone else shows up I have to turn them away. Wow what a great first night back at work right??? I'm furious having another anxiety attack. So I text Ben and he flips and comes up to the floor I am working on. The patients sister who was not on the list but the charge nurse approved is alone in the room with the patient. I call staffing to let them know I am not OK and need to leave. They just kinda blow me off and call the charge nurse. Meanwhile I head to the patients room to get my stuff. Ben is talking to the charge nurse who says yes I told her about being assaulted but that kind of stuff happens all the time. They were going to change my patient assignment but I just left. I emailed my supervisor and my counselor letting them know the situation. My supervisor emailed me back saying there is no way for anyone to have a say in which patients I get. So why did she ask in the first place? Needless to say I put in my 2 weeks but I will not be working during those 2 weeks. My counselor called and said she was so sorry for the way things turned out but she has offered to meet with me for free for the next few months. I am so happy that I can continue to see her because I can connect with her  and she understands what I am trying to say. I am super frustrated with the way that I was treated and the situation was approached by IHC.

2 peanuts were walking down the street one was assaulted

*Warning- This post is my way of venting. It may not be very uplifting or positive but this is something I needed to do.*

This really isn't a funny story at all but I deal with stress by using humor and this joke has been running through my head ever since the incident happened so I figured maybe it was a good title for it. Monday morning I go to work. I actually packed myself a yummy lunch (Thanks to Superbowl leftovers) and I have a positive attitude. I get sent to the floor that one of my good friends works on and hope that she is working that day as well. Get to work find out I'm "sitting" for a patient. The previous CNA tells me that the patient tried to leave the hospital the night before and tries to pull out his IV's which is why he has a sitter.The patient is in the hospital because he has multiple stab wounds in his stomach and he won't tell anyone if he did them or someone else. He was admitted to the hospital intoxicated. He is fully aware of actions and "all there". The patient, lets call him Bob, is late 20's early 30's, 6'2" approx, and probably between 250-300 lbs. He's asleep. I sit down in the room and my friend comes in and talks to me for a while. About an hour later, this would be 8am, the nurse comes in to give him some medication. He wakes up and is a bit ornery and so is the nurse. She leaves for a minute to go get something and Bob gets out of bed. I come over to stand by him and he begins pulling his IV's out. I touch his hand gently and say "don't do that it will hurt." Bob says " Don't touch me, I want to leave" I say "I'm sorry, OK lets just sit down for a minute." Bob pulls his hand back makes a fist and POW hits me right in the chest. I fall back a little bit and Bob goes and sits by the window and says " I said don't touch me". I am in shock. I'm a little naive I guess the word is but I have never been hit in my life. Of course I've been hit playfully or accidentally but never by a huge guy out of anger. I hit the rooms call light and no one answers for like 5 minutes. The nurse comes in and I tell her what happened and she tells the patient not to hit and for me to file a WebEvent AKA IHC's way of reporting and "incident". So, I'm like OK. She leaves. I'm still sitting in the room with Mr. Krazy by myself and he tells me he wants to call his dad. So I help him. AN HOUR passes... now we are at 9am. I am still all alone in the room with a violent patient who hit me. Excuse my language but what the HELL? Finally, the head nurse comes in the room and tells the patient he can't hit people especially those taking care of them. The nurse looks at me and kinda does a you're OK thumbs up sort of deal. Then security shows up and I walk out into the hall to talk to them and I start crying. Now of all times for me to cry...genius. The security guys could not have looked more awkward. One of them says "Can you tell us what happened?" So I tell them my story. They say they would advise me to press charges and am I comfortable sitting in the room with this patient for the rest of my shift? I'm like I don't know what the crap. Am I comfortable sitting in a room with a guy who just hit me and that I could possibly be pressing charges against? Am I going insane? What is going on? Then the charge nurse comes up to me and says she will be keeping me till 11am when she can get a replacement for me but she will have another CNA right away come in to sit with Bob and I will take that CNA's 8 patients on the floor for 2 hours. Oh my goodness. So I get report on my 8 patients that I will be taking and start trying to do rounds then I get a call that my manager is here to see me. She gives me a hug and some candy. Then I start trying to finish my rounds and I have a deaf patient who is so sweet that I am trying to get  settled and about 5 other patients who would like a bath or shower and other misc. things. I get another call that a Psych nurse is here to evaluate and speak with me. While I am talking with the psych nurse the Murray police officer shows up to file an assault charge. During all of this I keep getting calls that "one of my patients needs a sprite, someone wants to take a shower, Can I take a pudding into room 2" I thought the nurse and the officer were going to blow. After talking with the psych nurse she prescribes me xantax to help with anxiety and panic attacks. I'm an anxious person as is and I have a lot of anxiety about different things sometimes. I press assault charges with the officer and he tells me that this is a class B misdemeanor and as soon as Bob is discharged from the hospital he will be arrested. I will probably have to go to court and Bob will probably claim that it was the medications that influenced him. The officer checks with the nurse and there were not medications that would influence him like that. The psych nurse has called employee health and I need to go get checked out. It is finally 11am and I am getting ready to leave so I go turn in some things to the charge nurse and she says "Did you file a webevent?" Umm... let me see... I filed something with security something with one nurse pressed charges with an officer but did I file a webevent I have no idea!!!! So I have to do the "webevent" before I leave. Little backtrack I had texted (I know terrible but he was at work) Ben to let him know a little bit what was going on. He called my mom. Needless to say by the time I was finally able to look at my phone again 2 hours later it was blowing up with missed calls and texts messages and things like we are going to get a lawyer and oh geez. My phone had a low battery too. So I call Ben give him the DL his work won't let him leave. Then I call my mom from a phone in the break room and she is wanting to know if she should leave work to come and be with me and that stresses me out because I don't want people having to leave work because of me so I tell her no it's OK. My sis in law Karlie is here with Josslyn while Jason is at training for the military so my mom says that Karlie can come over and be with me which turned out to be such a blessing because I probably would have lost it. So I start walking over to where the Employee Health place is and I meet up with Karlie who almost has her masters in Psychology so this is good and she keeps me calm and Josslyn and its so good to see Josslyn because she makes me happy and she is so silly and gives people funny looks and laughs at random things like me.

Josslyn

So we 3 head up to see the employee health nurse which is a very nice lady and sets me up with an appt. to see workmed to checked out and makes an appt. for me to go meet with a counselor. She assures me everything will be paid for and not to worry. We head over to workmed I get checked out no bruising just a contusion with a hematoma but my back and hips are now hurting could be from stress could be from the blow who knows. I'm put on light duty, which as a CNA, there is no such thing. Ice and ibuprofen with my anxiety meds. Have I mentioned I do not get paid enough for all of this because I do not get paid enough. Then we head over for me to meet with the counselor which was actually really good. I am stressed about a lot of things in my life right now and this kind of was the huge last straw for my emotions and mentality. I told the counselor that I felt stupid about this whole situation and how it had blown up into such a big thing. She assured me that it was perfectly OK especially since I'm not a violent person and my job is to care for people and when someone you are trying to take care of assaults you its a big deal. She told me I needed to take as much time off work as I felt I needed and that going back to work could bring a lot of emotions and anxiety. Finally, after getting my prescription filled and taking paperwork to my supervisor I was able to go home. I headed to my parents house where I hung out with my sister Morgan until everyone was off work. It was 4pm by the time I finally got to there house. What an insane day!!! I was exhausted, emotional, angry, depressed, tired, crazy. This week has been a crazy week too. I had to go back to workmed to get checked out again. I've been trying to figure out how I am getting paid for the time off which everyone seems to have different answers for. On top of all of that we just moved (there is a post coming about that) and are trying to get the house cleaned and all, the school wants to charge us money for last semester and a whole bunch of other stressful things going on. And now I'm questioning if I even want to continue being a CNA and then if I even want to be nurse. Somedays I felt really down and depressed but then I have to take a step back and realize I have a great life and I have amazing family and friends and my life could be much much worse but this week it has for some reason been really hard to pull out of that rut. I'm feeling better today though. Still kinda feel like I am in a whirlwind but as good ol' Bob Marley said " Don't Worry,Cause Every Little Thing is Gonna Be Alright".

Ohio and NYC and a little bit of Pittsburgh

I know for a fact this is going to be a long post but I couldn't figure out how to split it up into separate posts so... if you don't want to read you can always just scan through the pictures but I have a ton of funny and cool stories too!
To make our way out to Ohio we used my (Lindsey's) mom's flight benefits from jetBlue. My mom is a pro at flying standby she makes it so easy for everyone even though I know it is stressful for her. We are so grateful to be able to use her benefits though because just the flights would have cost us over $1000 per person. We started heading out Wednesday night from SLC to NYC on a redeye flight then once we got to NYC we hopped on a flight to Pittsburgh and then drove from Pittsburgh to Ohio. Ben and I were unable to sleep on the redeye flight so we slept on the flight to Pittsburgh but it was only about an hour long flight. We all ( Mom and Dad Parry, Lindsey, Ben, Spencer and Morgan) pitched in on the rental car and we got a van that fit us all. It was a very classy van but we later found out it had a mind of its own.

Miss Ava had been waiting for us all day but finally went down for nap a little before we got to there house. When we arrived Trevor and Savannah greeted us. We all just sat around and chatted and figured out a plan for the week. Ava was so excited when she came down the stairs to see all of us I loved it!
The next day which was Friday was Ava's #2 Birthday so it was a big party day for her! We had dairy free egg free pancakes (because Ava is allergic). We went to Toys R' Us to pick out presents. Mom and Dad Parry bought her a bike but they have to have it delivered. Ben and I bought her a super cute ladybug helmet. Ava loves opening presents and she is so grateful for everything its adorable.

Ava in her Ladybug helmet

Grandma, Aunt Morgan, and Ava with her b-day cake

That night we had wacky cake for her b-day and played with balloons and ring around the rosie's and danced to the bear necessities. It was an Awesome Party! 

Another super cute thing about Ava is she is being potty trained right now. She is doing so good and has a ducky potty that quacks when she goes. Ava and I had been playing and I noticed she was being a little different so I asked her if she needed to go and she went on a dead run to the bathroom! LOL... later that night she was sitting at the table and I went to go the bathroom as I was closing the door I caught her eye she gave me a HUGE grin and looked at me like "You go girl, show 'em how it's done". It was awesome! 

Ben and his Thurmanator

Spencer, Morgan, Me, Ben, Amy and Trevor at Thurmans

The next day, Saturday, after breakfast and lots and lots of playing including sledding, Me, Ben, Spencer, Morgan, Trevor and Amy headed to Thurmans a famous little place where you can get a burger called the Thurmanator. We left Mom and Dad Parry with the girls at home. The wait to get into Thurmans was about 2 hours but it was totally worth it! Ben and Spencer got the Thurmanator I shared wings with Trevor and Amy and had fried pickles and a coney. Yes so healthy I know. Everthing was amazing! We were so full but when we got back to the house my mom had just took fresh cinnamon rolls out of the oven. Oh my goodness. Killing us... literally. 

Pulling Ava in the sled

Ava being silly on her horsey

Me and Baby Savannah

The next day, Sunday, was baptism day for Savannah and a baptism/birthday party with Amy's family. 

Everyone got all dressed up and pretty for the big day. 

Me and baby Savannah (my goddaughter)

Ben and Savannah

The baptism itself was a really neat experience and so spiritual too. Father Mark who is Amy's uncle performed the ceremony. I am so grateful we were able to be a part of this special day.

Father Mark, The godparents, parents and Savannah

Spencer, Morgan, Amy, Savannah, Trevor, Ava, Me, Ben, Mom P, Dad P

 Afterwards we headed to Amy's sister's house for a fun party with cousins and more presents and lots of yummy food. While we were there one of Amy's sisters came in and said there was a van outside with its lights on. Someone thought it was theirs but then Dad went outside to check and it was our rental van. Not only were the lights on it was running! Lol! My dad didn't know how he that had happened. We knew it had an auto start on the keychain or something but we couldn't figure it out. The next morning before we headed out back to Pittsburgh Dad went to go load up the van and the side door was open. We decided that that van had a mind of its own. 

The crazy van

We said our goodbye's :( and headed to Pittsburgh. We barely made it on time for our flight. Once we got to New York we had to ride the AirTran to the Subway and then took the Subway into the city. First stop was the Hard Rock Cafe. 

A wall of over 300 guitars which were all donated.

Mom and Dad P at Hard Rock Cafe

Ben and I with our HUGE appetizer that we had as our meal

Then we headed to Timesquare and went to the Hershey's store, Toys R' Us, The Disney Store and also got to see some really cool street performers/dancers. 

Ben and I in front of Timesquare

Mom and Dad P in front of T Rex at Toys R' Us

Jack Sparrow made completely out of lego's

Me, Mom, and Morgan at Timesquare

It was an amazing trip I am so glad we were able to go.

Bike Ride and other thoughts

Ben and I wanted to go for a bike ride today... it never happened. That's OK though we are set for the next time we want to go for a ride. The way the situation went it kinda reminded me of the book "If you give a mouse a cookie". We had to find bike riding outfits which can be difficult when it's colder outside because you don't want your pants to get caught in the chains. Ben ended up wearing my old dance pants with some of his shorts over them and I wore some cut off sweats that Ben has threatened to throw away ... LOL not going to happen. Then we had to find our keys and Ben's shoes which ended up being in the closet... Then one of the bikes tires were flat so we had to look for our bike pump...couldn't find it so we drove to my parents house to get their pump and by the time we got back home it was dark and freezing so no bike ride today BUT on a positive note we are so ready for the next time we want to go on a bike ride.

 

In other news Ben is thinking about trying to get into the police academy. I think he would really enjoy it and it's something he has talked about doing for awhile. He needs to take the NPOST test to be able to apply and probably wouldn't be able to get in until the fall or so. Right now he is working at IHC in the E.R on call and at 1800contacts and is waiting to hear back about a concrete testing job. He will be taking a math class at SLCC this semester and then he just needs one more math class to graduate with his Associates degree.He is also hoping to get into ji jitsu this year which I have kinda a hard time with but he'll be fine right? 

I'm trying to get into Weber State to take some prereq's for their nursing program. I'm sick of SLCC. I've gone their for to long and I feel their are better options out there. I like their online set up as well as well as they don't have a waiting list for their nursing program and since I already have my associates degree I have a better chance of getting in. However, one tiny setback I was planning on going this semester to Weber online I applied about a week and half ago and had SLCC send my transcripts but I haven't been accepted yet I'm supposed to know by tomorrow...school started this past Monday. Little stressed. My alarm actually went off the other day and Ben said I sat straight up in bed and said " Hi, I was just calling to check on the status of my application." and then I turned my alarm off. 

On a funny crazy note Ben almost got karate chopped in the face the other day. It was after we watched a movie where people broke into someone's house you know the kind anyways I was coming out of the bathroom and heard someone coming down the hall and just to be safe I karate chopped and ended up an inch away from Ben's face. Needless to say we both started laughing uncontrollably. He is so patient with my random "freak out someone's in my house who's not my husband" episodes. Like that time when we first got married and I got up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and Ben didn't know he thought a pipe broke in the bathroom and told "me" who was not in bed that he was going to check on it so he opens the door to find me on the toilet with a shocked look on my face and he's even more shocked because he just told me he was going to check on the broken pipe. I started screaming for some reason and then there was a whole bunch of laughing to this day. Speaking of toilets and bathrooms I got told I was going to heaven at the hospital the other night for cleaning up some feces. Hope that didn't gross anyone out but it's nice to know someone thinks I'm going to heaven ya know. It's a crazy random life but ya gotta love it. 

We leave for Ohio Wednesday night for a few days. I'm so excited. I just found out my brother Jason is going to be able to come out as well so the whole famdamily will be together again. Ben's also never been out to Ohio so I'm super excited for him. 

I'm going to try and take more pictures this year if Ben will let me ;) He says they all look the same but just with a different background. That's just hilarious.

Here I am...

Hey it's me Lindsey. So remember last year how I was doing that whole weight loss thing and I was doing so well and I had lost 10lbs? Well I really fell off the wagon sometime after the 10lb mark and now I'm back to square 1 or even worse square negative 10. I've gained that weight back plus some. I'm super embarrassed and ashamed and don't know why I let it happen. I'm also not one to let out all my thoughts and feelings on the internet but I need support and I need to be held accountable. I don't consider myself terrible unhealthy I ran a half marathon just a few months ago but I want to do more I know I'm capable of more and I don't want my weight or my health to hold me back EVER! I can do this this time. It's going to be life change. I'm going to finish this and it's going to be great. Not quite sure what my winning plan is as of now besides trying to eat healthier and a ton of exercise! So here I am admitting I didn't follow through last time and ready to do it better this time around. Also, I'm open to help suggestions anything.